What good is a mental breakdown if not for sharing with the world through creative prose? I mean, how many things can a person actually juggle before it all falls down?
Here’s the thing, I’m not the feel sorry for me type. I’m a pull up your socks kind of gal. You know, sharp edges and rough corners but happy puppy energy so others don’t actually want to get so close that they see those cracked parts. Believe it or not, some extroverts can literally repel people! I mean, I’m generally a ray of freaking sunshine, so people love to bathe in my glow. But some days it’s like a tsunami and I don’t even have a surfboard.
I’ve been busy. The creative vibes have been strong this summer and I’ve been cracking that mental whip like a pro! Writing and rewriting, and rewriting, those sewing classes to make sure I’ve got it all just right. I created What the Heidi so I have a lovely little corner of the web to brain dump all of random thoughts that build up while I’m eating, reading, and streaming. I even went back and revamped Wicked Widow into a whole new adventure! The kids are helping with with this one and I am so very excited. It’s been on the back burner for a long time, however creative paralysis kept me from really digging in. Now I don’t just have a game plan, I have a war strategy!
So, that’s good right? All the creative juices are juicy, so I should be cloud-9ing it, right? Right…
Except there’s this ghost voice who lives in the deepest corners of my brain and only decides to jump-scare me when I’m in that creative flow. It’s not a creepy crawly feeling, it’s an absolute Freddy’s coming for you mental shut down. And I just stop. Maybe I pivot to something else for a while and maybe I just escape into my TBR list until I feel like I don’t have claws so deep in my chest. They’re still there, but my pain tolerance is high, so I just shove out those feelings until Freddy pushes a bit harder.
That’s a creative brain dump, and it’s how I push through. If I can pull those thoughts out of my brain and “speak” them into the world, somehow that’s just the magic spell needed to help me break out of the nightmare and get back to building my best me. Because she is awesome, but she is always going to be a work in progress. I will never be done building my best me, it’s my favorite creative adventure.
So now that I have braindumped a huge pile of messy feelings and emotions out of the Heidiverse, I’m getting back to work. I have some great things coming, thanks for hanging out.
Oh, Hey. I’m Heidi.
Part professional seamstress, part homeschool mentor, and full-time hot-mess pulling back the curtain on how things actually gets done. I make premium accessories that last, teach the next generation things that won’t fall apart, and share the chaotic truth of doing it all from home. Grab a drink; it’s a wild ride.